Praying with the Family

“Generous Openness” in Marriage and Family Life: Part II

By Deacon Mark Krejci, Ph.D./Office of Marriage, Family & Life

As I continue my reflections on Chapter 4 of Pope Francis’ “The Joy of Love” you may remember that two columns ago I used the same title as I am for this one but it was called “Part I.” Well, here is the eagerly anticipated Part II! If you are wondering why I use the phrase “eagerly anticipated” you may think that I heard from some readers last month when I interrupted the series on “The Joy of Love” with a column about using the free trial membership of Formed.org for marital and family enrichment. You may be thinking that I used the phrase “eagerly anticipated” because my e-mail inbox was filled with messages from people who could not wait to read Part II. Perhaps, you may be thinking that some readers were even asking me to send them the column early or post it on the diocesan web site or even expressed their displeasure that I waited so long to share the conclusion to the column. Well, no – none of that happened – but I stand by the use of the phrase “eagerly anticipated” because the person who is eagerly anticipating this column is ME! I am eagerly anticipating this column because I get to focus on a wonderful teaching written by Pope St. John Paul II in his magnificent “On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World” or “Familiaris Consortio.” If you asked me to share my top 10 non-biblical religious books this one would be at the top of my list.

Recall that, in the Part I column, I shared the pastoral advice of Pope Francis that a day should never end without making peace in the family. Pope St. John Paul II, also with the heart of a pastor, gives advice on how you can create a family that is able to seek and grant forgiveness so that no one goes to bed without peace in the home. St. John Paul tells families that there must be a “generous openness” in each person. He goes on to describe that we need to have a generous openness to “understanding, to forbearance (patience), to pardon, to reconciliation.”

Just think if every family member, every husband and wife, every child and parent, could practice this “generous openness” every day. If every day we would seek to understand each other in our family rather than judge them. If we would be patient with each other rather than expect everyone to do things “the way I want it done.” If we were able to pardon the little things that sometimes we blow out of proportion as well as pardon the big things even though they create sorrow. If we were able to approach each other with a spirit of reconciliation where we both ask for forgiveness as well as freely grant it. Wow – that would be something to see. All families living in this spirit - practicing “generous openness” every day. It would transform the Church and our world. How do we pull this off?

St. John Paul II has the answer to that as well. He writes “…family communion can only be preserved and perfected through a great spirit of sacrifice.” From this spirit of sacrifice “generous openness” will come. But when some hear “sacrifice” they think that this is something to be avoided, something that does not sound enjoyable. But not you! Not those who seek to be disciples of Jesus in your marriages and in your families. For you understand that it is through the great sacrifice of Christ on the Cross that we all can experience great joy in heaven. And so, you know that by having a spirit of sacrifice, a spirit which empowers your generous openness, you are able to - with joyful sacrifice - practice understanding, patience, pardon and reconciliation. Oh, what joy we have when we are able to give these gifts to our family. It is the joy we have in loving the members of our family not because of what we get from them, but what we generously give to them. The joy we receive when we give the gift of “generous openness” to our family.