By Deacon Mark Krejci, Ph.D./Office of Marriage, Family & Life
Some people, at the beginning of a new year, take stock of their life – to think about how they spent their time in the previous year and how they are going to change in the new year. And so, before writing this column, I decided to review what I have been writing about in “Praying With the Family.” Last year, for the first column of 2017, I wrote about getting into “spiritual shape” through prayer (by the way, how is that going for you?). Then in May, I began to review Pope Francis’ letter “Amoris Laetitia” or as it is more commonly known “The Joy of Love.” Specifically, I have used nine columns so far to reflect on what the Holy Father wrote in Chapter 4 about 1 Cor. 13:4-7, the “Love is patient, …” passage. I have interrupted the progression of columns on this passage with various other topics due a variety of reasons, but I am making a New Year’s resolution about my column. They say that if you tell others about your resolution you are more likely to carry it out and so I am informing the kind souls who read this column that I will finish the review of Chapter 4 of “The Joy of Love”!
With this resolution in mind, I note that the next verse to be considered is 1 Cor. 13:6, “it (love) does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.” Pope Francis ends his reflection on this verse by writing, “The family must always be a place where, when something good happens to one of its members, they know that others will be there to celebrate it with them.” This verse made me think of a family where the children (from their early years into their adult years) were always competitive. They would compete with each other, they would compete in school, later in their work and in other ways with their adult friends. For that matter, their mom and dad were pretty competitive as well and encouraged their children to be competitive. When the family played games with each other, they played to win. There was one game they played that really brought out their competitive juices but what was wonderful about this family was the way they would not just compete with great gusto – but the way they rejoiced with equal gusto. When a brother or sister – or mom or dad – would win they congratulated the winner and celebrated their victory. The same was true for accomplishments in life. Rather than being jealous when their brothers or sisters accomplished something they had not, they would rejoice in the victory/award/recognition that the other received.
To “rejoice in the right” for your family means, in part, that you are excited and happy for them when things go well in their lives. Pope Francis writes, “… we rejoice at the good of others when we see their dignity and value their abilities and good works. This is impossible for those who must always be comparing and competing, even with their spouse [and let me add their siblings], so that they secretly rejoice in their failures.” It is sad to see families where competitiveness leads to bitterness, jealousy, and resentment when a family member has something good happen in their life.
The competitive family that I am writing about in this column would never think to resent the accomplishments of a brother or sister – because at the core of their family is the love of God. They rejoiced in their siblings’ accomplishments because they knew that God rejoices in the genuine happiness of us all. Again, the words of Pope Francis, “When a loving person can do good for others, or see that others are happy, they themselves live happily and in this way give glory to God, for ‘God loves the cheerful giver’ (2 Cor. 9:7).”
If you are accustomed to making New Year’s resolutions, let me present one for your consideration: rejoice in your family. Rejoice in their happiness, in their success, in the way they overcome difficulty, in their victories in life and even during family games. Rejoice in your family and you will live a joy-filled life.